ublues! I liiikeee...
Tragedy! Trevor Jalla is leaving for Australia, indefinitely! (Trevor's the goofy looking one in the hat) NOOO!!! I LOVE Trevor Jalla! I ADORE Trevor Jalla! I was once less than 50cm away from Trevor Jalla but I didnt have the guts to shake his hand!!!! Regret! =( TREVOR JALLA!!! *wail*
Sigh, life seems to be spinning out of my control lately. I feel a strange mix of desperation, indifference and restlessness. I can't get any work done. Even though I like Dr Don so much, I still can't hand in his homework on time, can't even get round to doing it. He doesnt scold me, he's incredibly nice, but I beat myself up for it. It's really like that passage that maine read at CF, Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
I just want someone to listen to me, I find so often that i'm talking halfway and realise that no one is really listening to me. Usually i'm ok with that, but not today. Today I want to feel like somebody cares. I want to whine and complain and cry and go on and on endlessly about me, my day, my week, what I did, to someone who doesnt judge or criticise me. I want someone to listen to my life and not think about it as trivial and stupid. I want someone to listen to me the way I always listen to other people. You know you're taught from young that you should be to others what you want them to be to you? but that's not true with listening. The more you are a quiet person and listen to others, the more they see you as someone with nothing to say, the more they talk, the less you talk. I'm always ok with that! Cos usually I really do have nothing to say. but not today. just not today.
If I have a dream tonight, I hope it goes like this:
Trevor Jalla comes to my room, gently wakes me up and tells me, "Becky, hey girl, guess what? I'm not going to Australia anymore! And here's an autographed CD and poster just for you. And now I'm gonna sit here for half an hour just to talk to you and after that I'll sing all your favourite songs. How was your day?"
Laugh at me if you wish. But right now, thats what I really want.
1 Comments:
*hugs* Hopes youse feelings betters, beckys! :D *truckfuls ofs M&Ms*
I's nows experimentings withs ("withs"?? Trys sayings thats outs louds, it's toughs)addings S's's behinds alls mys words. Ands I's hates to's bes soundings stupids buts who's's Trevors Jallas?
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